There are certainly a lot of legal issues to navigate once you enter divorce proceedings. But for many individuals, merely telling their spouse that they want a divorce is one of the most challenging parts of the process. If you handle this issue incorrectly, then you might set the wrong tone for your marriage dissolution, which could stall any potential settlement, lead to more contentiousness and result in an outcome that’s disadvantageous to your future. Therefore, before breaking the news of divorce to your spouse, you should create a sound game plan.
How can you find the best way to tell your spouse that you want a divorce? There’s no one-size fits all approach, unfortunately, so the specific strategy that you utilize will depend on the dynamics of your case, including your spouse’s personality, the reason for your divorce and any other complicating factors that may exist. That said, there are some broader strategies that you might find helpful in your case, so let’s look at some of them here.
Although what you say to your spouse when breaking the news of divorce might seem straightforward, you should think through the interaction so that you can do this in a way that protects your interests. Here are some things to think about as you consider taking this first step towards divorce:
- Make sure you’re ready for divorce: You don’t want to have a serious conversation about divorce if you’re not 100% ready to end your marriage. In an attempt to save your marriage, your spouse might promise to do anything and everything. You have to be convinced that divorce is the next step otherwise you might be convinced to stay in a toxic marriage that’s harmful to your wellbeing.
- Avoid blaming your spouse: Remember, you and your spouse are going to have to address some heavy legal issues once you initiate the divorce process. If you start your marriage dissolution off by slamming your spouse over things they did wrong during your relationship, then they’re probably going to be hesitant to work with you to find mutually acceptable resolution. This can prove more costly to you and lead to more contentiousness and stress. So, try to stick to how you feel and present a respectful, business-like tone.
- Be prepared for a reaction: Your spouse might exhibit one or more emotional outbursts to the news. They could get angry, resentful or overcome with depression and grief. You need to be prepared for these emotions so that you can respond appropriately. Also, give your spouse some time so that they can cope with the news and gather themselves before entering the formal process.
- Practice what you’ll say: You don’t want to slip up and say the wrong thing when you tell your spouse that you want a divorce. The best way to avoid that from happening is to practice your speech and answers to the questions that you anticipate receiving from your spouse. Hopefully then you’ll come across as confident in your decision and the path forward.
There are several issues that you’ll have to address in your divorce, from property division and alimony to child custody and child support. You need a concrete plan in place to address each of them, otherwise you could miss out on key opportunities to secure the post-divorce life that you want. So, now is the time to think about how to tackle the issues you might face in your divorce.